Largest Temperature

Something that bothers me: my lack of motivation.

tumblr_mq48umPyWu1s4uvr8o1_500I always wonder whether this problem of mood swings only teenagers have or that’s a common issue. But either way, doing anything at all in my life often sounds pretty tough for me.

I have some problems and the lack of motivation is just one of many of them. I also struggle with anxiety and confidence. Even going out with my friends sounds exhausting. Let alone getting up from my bed and actually studying.
I have no joy to exercise, meet my friends or do anything at all. Often I just close myself up in a room and either read, write or listen to some music.

When I socialize, I am a totally different person. I love to laugh, talk, dance, do anything. I believe I can be quite a fun person actually. I do often realize that I am suffering because of my mood swings though.
When I feel tired, it’s like nothing else but laying down sounds normal. I can’t study, eat and often not even walk around. On a good day, when my mood swings aren’t present, I feel joyful and energized and ready to take on the world.
But a lot of times … I just feel lazy. Lazy and tired and unpleasent.

And my mood swings are those that bring me closer to my anxiety and my lack of confidence. I am incredibly moody and anything you say or do can make me feel bad about myself.
After that … I start doubting. I doubt about people that hang with me – are they sincere?
I doubt about this person I am – am I a good person or am I just pretending to be one?
I doubt about my life – I abandon my hopes and dreams because everything there is sounds too big for me. It sounds like I can’t achieve anything at all.
If going out with people sounds tiring to me, how am I supposed to do anything good in life?

And when my mood swings aren’t present, I suddenly feel so positive. Nothing bothers me. Sometimes, it feels like I am kind of confident. I say and do things without thinking twice about them.

I wish my mood swings wouldn’t happen that often. A lot of times, it seems like they are ruining my chances of life.
If I doubt in myself and if I doubt in people who are close to me and in everything I know … I can’t live a peaceful life.

So how do I overcome my mood swings? I wish I had an idea.
I keep telling myself that I need to get myself more motivated. I need to go out, because it will help me with my energy. I have to find things that bring me joy.
But everytime I do … Everytime I start feeling better … There is this mood swing all over again.


4 comments on “Something that bothers me: my lack of motivation.

  1. miusho
    April 20, 2015

    Sometimes you just don’t want to go out. You’re not alone in that. And the lack of motivation.. Yeah, I’ve been there. I still have it but it’s a lot less. There isn’t really a way set to overcome your moodswings though.. It depends on the person. For me, I ignore the bad things or I’ll be depressed all day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      April 20, 2015

      I struggle with those “ignore the bad things” the most. It’s way easier when I am outside or in school and I forget to think about things that bother me. It gets harder when I am home and there isn’t much more to do for me but think. That’s when I become depressed the most.
      Thank you! I guess we just have to go through a day and try to smile as much as possible.

      Liked by 1 person

      • miusho
        April 20, 2015

        I used drawing, games and reading to ban the bad things out of my mind.. But sometimes you have to go through the bad things to process them. Talking about them is a great idea. It does wonders for me.
        Life is too long to keep on thinking about depressing things all the time. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      April 20, 2015

      I really couldn’t agree more! Have to stop worrying and just start living. And as much as it’s bad to ignore your problems, it’s also never good to overthink them.

      Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on April 19, 2015 by in psychology and tagged , , , , , .
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