Largest Temperature

Special post: my 1 month anniversary and a glimpse of my life.

Today is a special day. It’s been a whole month since I made this blog, so I wanted to make a special post!

I think it’s incredibly important to have nice people around yourself. Positive and happy people, people who are confident and aren’t afraid to be something special. Growing up in the right environment can make a huge impact on us and it creates an idea of who we should be in order to have a joyful life.

I am in that stage of my life where I blame other people for my own flaws. I am trying to be as grown up as I can be in this stage, but anger and disappointment are indeed a big part of my life.
One thing I haven’t been able to be taught by my parents (as previously told, I might blame them for this one thing) or teach myself (since I am growing up and kind of have my life in my own hands) is how to be confident. How to be bold, brave. How to speak with power in my voice. Don’t get me wrong. There is so much that my parents taught me. They taught me about humor, respect and humbleness. I love them for that and I love them for so much more. But …

Since I have been able to know about myself, I have been struggling with anxiety and the lack of self-esteem as I have written in my previous posts.
I can stand up for myself, but a lot of times, I don’t know how to speak with power and dignity. I do not know how to believe in myself. Everytime I pull of a bold choice with my clothing choices, hairstyles or anything in general, I feel humiliated.
I feel like I am humiliating myself.

Looking at it now, I realize my mom isn’t a very bold person herself. Everything she dresses has to match up. Patterns are extremely rare in her outfits, she doesn’t wear daring clothes (although we can consider more choices at this – she wears clothes, designed for her “age” but they still might come off as boring). Everything is modern but not too advanced at the same time.

My mom is beautiful. She dresses appropriate to her age and her figure. I like most of her clothes. (Are you sensing another “but …”?)
(Here it comes …)
But! She is not bold. She is not different.

Maybe it’s because I am a teenager, either way I feel this wish of being different. I like wearing patterns, bold lipsticks, shoes with heels, etc.
I don’t wear any of that, though. I don’t feel comfortable or confident. There is this voice in my head that keeps telling me one thing all over again:”You can’t pull this off!”
Why not?
Is my figure not appropriate? My age? My … anything?
Well … No. It’s just my low self esteem.

If my mom taught me about colour choices, patterns, bold shoes, maybe I would feel more confident about embracing my inner self. I would believe I can pull anything off. I would be informed about fashion the way I have never been informed.
It’s not just about fashion, it’s so much more. But to me, this is where it starts.

To wrap this “special” post … Love yourself, people. Treat yourself nicely. Be good to your body and your inner crazy self. Respect people around yourself and help them to respect themselves.

Sometimes – all we need is a push from a person that believes in us in order for us to believe the same.


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This entry was posted on April 29, 2015 by in psychology and tagged , , , , .
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