I am incredibly protective over my friends and I respect people who are worth of my respect.
As I have my standards put very higly, I end up disappointed with some reactions that my loved ones might have. We all tend to screw up things from time to time and hell, nobody is perfect. But sometimes … You think people who have known you for ages would be able to understand you better.
You believe that they should be more successful at controling their emotions after so many years of learning about who you are.
Sometimes they don’t succeed, is all.
There isn’t much I search for in a good friend. Of course, we have to get along and you have to understand my thinking and my jokes. All in all we do have to be a bit similiar, so we have a better chance at beings friends.
But … Everything can get “compromised”. Sometimes we end up friending people we would never thought we could get along with. At the end … There is only one thing I expect from a good friend.
I expect for you to stay in touch. We all have our days when we don’t want to go out, reply to any messages, return any calls. I’ve been there. Most of the times, I am still there.
I am not a resentful person and I do not keep grudges.
I will let you be your own person. I dislike people who cannot understand that I need to be my own person. I need to disconnect from time to time and not be a part of something bigger. If you do as well, I will not mind.
I will mind one thing, though. Being your own person and keeping distance is not the same thing at all.
Even when you disconnect, you have to reconnect sooner or later.
I hate it when I end up being the one person in the friendship that tries to stay in touch. Maybe my anxiety plays a part, but after a while I start feeling like I am bothering you. I feel like if a friend wanted to talk to me, they would have done it without my pressure. If they wanted to see me … They would have asked me to.
I can’t be the only one who tries on our friendship. I need to know that a friend misses me, too. That a friend appreciates me, too. Just like I miss, love and appreaciate them.
Giving a call or a message from time to time shouldn’t bother you if you think of someone as a true friend. Asking them out, on a coffee or hell – just a movie, shouldn’t bother you. It takes you less than a minute and it can lighten somebody’s heart more than you could imagine.
I do need to feel appreaciated. I don’t think of myself as something better. I don’t search for attention, because that I don’t need. But I do need somebody who will show me from time to time that I matter.
If we are friends and you are not bothered enough to even let me know that I matter to you … There comes time when frienships stop mattering. Because people will give up on showing you that you matter if you don’t do the same to them.