Largest Temperature

If you give criticism, be able to take criticism.

I know a couple of people who are “watching” over me with biggest possible criticism ever.
Sometimes you need a tough word or two to understand that no, life is not easy. Life can be hard and even harder than life are life decisions that we have to make.
But just as we need a tough word, we also need an embrace from time to time. We need someone who will hug us, smile at us and just say “you know what? you are doing good. And it’s not exactly a life decision I would come up with, but you are really doing good.”
We don’t need tough words all the time, even less often tough people.

There is a friend in my life who is as stubborn as anything. You do not get to break through her very often, believe me. And she is a really lovable person, she stands up for people she loves, but she is way too tough. Often, she can’t understand that you need to do some things all by your lonesome. Her wish is to make you safe and sound. But I am realizing that other people can’t be our bulletproof jackets. We need to learn to be that for ourselves. Even if we take in a bullet and lose a battle, we still haven’t lost the war. No matter what we do, we cannot lose the war.

So, to get back at this talk about my friend … She has pure wishes, but she doesn’t know how to deliver them. Instead of being soft and showing her love, she will most likely step on you and make you question every single life choice you have ever made.
She is so strong and when she raises her voice, you will most likely start to feel like the tiniest and most fragile human being ever.

And … that’s all okay. It’s not that hard to take in. Because you can remind yourself that her toughest words are also the most lovable words you’ll hear from her. You can’t listen at her with a thought that she will hurt you. You have to listen to her with a thought that she is indeed helping you out.

But there is this one thing that bothers me insanely. It’s not her sharp tone. It’s not her a-little-hurtful words.
It’s the fact that even though she can be the hardest critic you’ll ever stumble upon, she cannot listen to another person giving her criticism.
And there is this one thing … I believe that if you give criticism, you also need to be able to take it.

We’ve all heard this one phrase way too often than we would like to: act toward people the way you want them to act toward you.

If you can be a sharp person and deliver tough words, why do you suddenly feel attacked when somebody does the same to you?
Well, that’s a question we could talk about on and on.
And I honestly wouldn’t be sure what to say about it in the end.

And yet I know one thing: it still bothers me that someone who gives criticism in their sleep simply cannot take even a comment that is slightly turned away from being a compliment.

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This entry was posted on May 12, 2015 by in psychology and tagged , , .
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