Have you ever asked yourself this question: how many times did my pride stop me from doing some things? I’ve realized it stopped me countless of times …
If my pride didn’t interfere, I would have said hello to my once-upon-a-time-was best friend and ask her what’s going on in her life. I would have expressed my feelings more often, I would have called twice, I would have visited twice, I would have asked some random guy to go out with me … I would have done a lot of things. Maybe it’s better that I didn’t, because at least this way I’ve drawn the line in certain situations, threw my hands up in the air and just decided … To not give a flying f*ck. And that can be even better, sometimes.
But then … It happens once or twice, mostly at night when you are alone and your brain just has to be an asshole … That you regret not doing some things. I find myself regretting the things I did, sometimes, too. We can make mistakes either way. But doesn’t it hurt so much more when you don’t have closure? If you try doing something and you make it wrong, it does hurt your feelings, but at least you know where you stand. If you don’t do a thing … You are always questioning yourself – what if?
What if I got up, walked to my once-upon-a-time-was best friend’s doors and tell her about everything that has happened in my life? Could we go back to what we used to know? Would we hug it out, apologize and be OK again? I guess we’ll never know, because my pride stops me from doing it. And maybe I wouldn’t get my ideal closure. Maybe she wouldn’t want to hear me out, maybe she’d resent me for some things more than I resent her. Maybe we wouldn’t hug it out. So … I don’t know. It confuses me just what is the right thing to do here.
What if I said hello to some random guy and I went out with him and talk it out … Would I be in a relationship right now? Or would I have a new friend to talk to? Or … Would that be the most horrible experience of my life, but an experience, nonetheless? Man, I really don’t know.
I wish I could tell you to ignore your pride and live your life to the fullest, but it’s always easier said than done. If other people took more risks, I would have too, probably. I like to believe that, at least. But they don’t, I don’t, you (probably) don’t … Maybe we’re missing out and maybe we’re not. We are full of pride and that pride sometimes make us miss out on greatest experiences … And sometimes it makes some things easier for us.
Did your pride ever stop you from pursuing a person, a dream, a goal? Let me know!