You know what kind of a person I am? The kind that always sticks to people, no matter what. I give second chances … And third and fourth and fifth chances, too. Why? Because I know I am flawed myself and I’d want people’s forgiveness if I personally did something wrong. But you know what? When your gut tells you to leave, listen to it. Trust me.
Yes, we are flawed, of course. But flaws can be forgiven by honest conversation and mutual love and respect. They can’t be forgiven by hate, resentment, immature behavior and god knows what … Let me tell you something. I run into people I used to love for years and we had a smaller fallout for no reason at all, so they end up turning their heads away from me. And I ask myself … Are we not adults? I thought we’re mature enough to say hello to each other, to have a normal conversation … But here you are, turning your head away. You resent me, I resent you … And we don’t even know why. And here’s when the flaws start to matter. It matters that we are stubborn, it matters that we don’t know how to love … It matters, because that is suddenly all that’s left. There’s no forgiveness.
So, I ended up realizing this one thing: I’ve spent years trying to build some friendships. I put so much energy into them … My gut told me it wasn’t worth it. My gut told me I deserve better and they deserve something different, too. I wanted honest people in my life with a positive attitude, yet I stayed, trying to “fix” some people. Once upon a time, they were “fixing” me. But oh man, that’s so toxic. We can’t fix people. If you vibe with someone, you vibe with them for a reason. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t force it.
The people that I vibed with the first time that I met them, are the people who are still present in my life. I might not talk to them every single day, I might not see them all the time, but they’re still a very important part of my life. The people that I was first sceptical of, on the other hand? Those are the people who are now turning their heads away when they see me.
Am I perfect? Jesus, no. I am so far from it. I’m sure some people had a bad vibe/feeling of me … Simply because we’re different. And there is a reason why some of them never pursued a friendship/relationship with me. So, maybe I should have done the same thing with some people.
Friendships are a beautiful thing. I believe people can be great for us. However, some people are toxic the same way that we can be toxic to somebody else. If your gut tells you not to pursue something, or differently – if it tells you to give up on someone/something … You should listen to it. Don’t ignore it, because you’re stubborn and proud and you want to give someone or something a chance … Sometimes that time that you might spend – just isn’t worth it.