In the wake of holidays and the Christmas spirit, I’ve decided to make a post about something that has been bothering my mind a bit …
I love the concept of holidays. I love spending time with my family and my closest friends, while we give small and affectionate gifts to each other, we eat and drink and sing … All in all, it’s a zone of relaxation and good energy. However, some things might feel a bit forced about this certain holiday.
I am from Balkan, which means that my family has certain traditions that we’re fond of. Visiting your uncles, aunts (and in general the rest of the family) is pretty common. The problem with that is, that we hardly ever visit each other the rest of the year. Therefore … It feels a bit hypocritical … The concept where people invite you to their homes in the spirit of holidays sounds lovely and all, but why do we pretend that we care about each other, when we in fact don’t?
I’ve learned that I should only take time for the people that I truly love and sadly, I do not love some people who are my family. I am not emotionally connected to them, I don’t feel the need to see them all the time or talk to them about the things that have been happening in my life. I don’t want to visit people in the time of Christmas, just because it’s a tradition to do so, when I haven’t seen them for months or even years.
I have cousins in my life that I’ve invited to coffee countless of times. I got along with some of them really nicely and I wanted to keep them in my life. I wanted us to be close to each other. Yet they always ended up having excuses as to why we can’t meet, they ended up ignoring our plans … They slowly walked out of my life and I’d like to think that now they’re no longer a part of it. Even though we are family, connected with blood, all that nonsense … Those people don’t know anything about me. They don’t know what school I am going to, what kind of people I am spending time with. They don’t know about my writing or my other hobbies. They have no idea who I am. And, differently – I have no idea who the heck they are, what their hobbies are and so on.
Yet, in the spirit of holidays, we force each other to visit. We have unnatural conversations that seem odd, because none of us knows what to talk about, since we don’t even truly know each other. We smile and laugh and we let everyone know just HOW MUCH we love each other (although we don’t) and when that day ends, we go back to ignoring each other for another 12 months.
How sad and disturbing is THAT?
I simply don’t want to spend the precious time of the holidays with people that I don’t care about. I think that nurturing the relationships that CURRENTLY mean something to us is more important than holding on to relationships that once meant something to us, but now they don’t.