Being an overthinker is extremely fun (except it’s not). I’m currently in the stage of my life when I am preparing for some major changes and let me tell you that that “PREPARING” is going quite poorly, because I’m freaking out more often than anything else.
I was always excited about moving out of this small city. I’m excited to get to know a bunch of new people. I am excited to learn all about being a grown up. I’m also excited about college, the opportunities that it will bring me, the things I will learn … However, I feel like I am running out of time now. I feel like I am not “prepared” for the future, whatever that means.
Maybe the problem is that we don’t talk enough about maturing and getting to be a grown up (and all of the things it takes for us to “fly away from our parents’ nest” etc.) BECAUSE … Everyone goes through these stages, yet we always feel alone when we are the ones that are going through them. All of these decisions are really important and they will shape us as human beings. But then I remember how my dad moved from Bosnia to Slovenia at the age of 19. He didn’t speak the language, he didn’t know any people … He wasn’t even sure that he was going to get a job here. He decided to move in a wish to find better opportunities for him, even though he was just a little kid in a little village. And he made it work … And his life changed way more than my life will.
I think the problem is that I personally like having things planned out. And right now, I don’t have any plans. Everything is uncertain and I’m afraid which way my life might go if I don’t get everything “right”. I want to go to the college that I picked out and I want to make some people proud … Most importantly, I’d like to make myself proud. I don’t have any place for “errors” in my life right now. But I also think I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I’ll make it work, whatever is in storage for me.
My father had zero plans. My grandparents probably didn’t plan a lot of things, either. Many people moved in a wish to find better opportunities for themselves … And I can do this, too.
How do you cope with the future plans, do you like having control over things that are happening or not and just how scary does everything feel for you? Let me know in the comments!