I don’t know about the rest of you, but I often forget that people just don’t act or think the same way that I do. It can slip my mind that, sometimes, my friends might not understand my point of view, especially when I don’t try to explain it.
I don’t hold grudges, but I do get hurt pretty quickly. Sometimes I expect people to do or say something, because I would personally react that way if the situation was reversed. For an example: I expect people to ask me about my day, I expect friends to invite me to go out when we haven’t seen each other for quite some time and so on. It’s also nice when people genuinely care about your emotions, your point of view. However … We’re all so different. We have been raised differently and we have different relationships with different people, therefore we can’t have the same priorities and we can’t think the same way.
I cut a lot of people out of my life, because it was easier to do that than to have an honest conversation. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them about all of the things that have hurt me, especially because there were SO MANY of them, after all that time. I also knew there were things that I did that hurt them and I couldn’t bring myself to hear about those, either.
I wish that wasn’t the way, I wish I could have an honest conversation without feeling like I am attacking someone – or differently, feeling like somebody is attacking me. And yes, of course those conversations are possible, too. But they’re so rare. And any kind of an honest conversation, after a lot of things have built up, are just a waste of human’s energy. It’s easier to give up on some people. I know that sounds weak and like an easy way out … But when you see that you resent each other for years and years back … It’s hard to fix it.
If we have an honest conversation at the time, it can solve a lot, though. It’s easier to solve one problem than try to untangle a MESS of unsolved anger and resentment.
People cannot read your mind and they often cannot understand you. Even if you have known each other for some time. And we shouldn’t be angry at each other when there is a misunderstanding. It happens. Some people love to be comforted when they are sad, some don’t … Some like to talk about their anger and others don’t. Just because somebody is your friend, it doesn’t mean that they act and think the same way you do. That’s why it’s important to ask questions, to give answers and to be sure that you aren’t hurting anybody and that they aren’t hurting you.
With communication, we get to understand people easier and then it’s a lot harder to be angry at somebody. We understand their point of view, we understand their emotions, even if we personally don’t think or feel the same way. That’s the point of any healthy relationship.