Largest Temperature

“Please, tell me, so I can fix it.”

A conversation with my mother brought me to this new post. I really just wanted to express the fact that I want people in my life to openly talk to me about things. I feel like I won’t be angry if somebody expresses an opinion … I’m angrier and sadder when they don’t.

I can’t behave normally when I am confused about people,ย I simply need to know where I stand. I need to know about their feelings toward me and about opinions toward things in general.ย If I feel like something is wrong and you aren’t willing to talk about it … I don’t know what to do.

We all make mistakes, so we shouldn’t feel angry when somebody tells us about them. We should also embrace the fact that we have feelings – that we get upset when people say certain things or we get angry about situations. It’s normal. Not talking about those emotions and hiding them, ignoring them … That is not normal.

I can’t fix a mistake if I don’t know I made one. I also can’t and shouldn’t expect other people to fix their own mistakes and change themselves, when I haven’t told them that I want them to do such a thing. We don’t think the same … Sometimes something that upsets you is the same thing that somebody else hasn’t even noticed.

I no longer have the time or the energy for passive-agressive behavior from people who are constantly angry, constantly the victim in any relationship … The world doesn’t revolve around anybody and we are mature enough (or, you know, I’d expect so) to openly talk about things. I have no time and no energy for confusion and paranoia … “What if I do something wrong again and they get mad at me YET AGAIN? What if I’ll disappoint them? What if I’ll say something wrong?” I don’t have to please anybody and I certanly can’t read people’s minds. Be honest with me, tell me about it, so I can fix it … Or get out of my life.

It’s that simple. I am not going to be hard on myself anymore. I deserve better. That’s that.

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9 comments on ““Please, tell me, so I can fix it.”

  1. lexorknightrider
    February 28, 2017

    Fixing some one else’s dismay over things sometimes is not that easy. Not being able to express your emotions of displeasure to another happens a lot. Leaving you confused and that’s why you want to fix it. When we are angry or displeased about something and direct it towards others we cannot explain why we are feeling that way either. Just my observations and interactions with others over time. Liked your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      February 28, 2017

      I definitely agree that it’s hard to put our feelings into words. It happens to me more than often. However, I was thinking about people who were angry with me and they knew why, but they didn’t want to talk to me about it, they ran to a passive-agressive behavior instead. That’s what I was talking about in the post! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • lexorknightrider
        February 28, 2017

        That’s not good. Just make note of how long that behavior continues and then ask what’s up. If they continue with the same behavior you will at this time have to figure out how your communication style will be. Being direct and calling them on it or ignore it but it will make you feel the way you are now. Please tell me if I have overstepped my bounds here.

        Liked by 1 person

      • largesttamara
        March 3, 2017

        You haven’t overstepped, I am really glad you wrote this comment! ๐Ÿ™‚ I completely agree with you and I have to be direct, there’s no other way for me, because ignoring things is a burden for me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • lexorknightrider
        March 3, 2017

        Glad to hear I didn’t. I have been where you are and trust me it will happen again. But I find when you are direct with people not nasty but put your cards on the table so to speak it gets their attention.

        Liked by 1 person

      • largesttamara
        March 4, 2017

        I definitely agree with that! Honest conversation is the key in every relationship, otherwise you just end up resenting each other too much for random things.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. marcuscaligula
    March 12, 2017

    It’s a impossible task fixing someone but we all feel we think we can but sadly we often cannot.

    Like

    • largesttamara
      March 12, 2017

      I agree, it’s impossible. People have to be eager to change themselves, nobody else can change them. Thanks for the comment! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • marcuscaligula
        March 12, 2017

        I appreciated your response.

        Like

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This entry was posted on February 28, 2017 by in psychology and tagged , , , , , .
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