The phrase “I don’t want to talk about it.” is actually incredibly powerful. Sometimes people use it when they truly don’t want to talk about a certain topic and sometimes … People use it when they definitely want to talk about something, but their ego might be bruised or the timing isn’t right or the other person hasn’t shown enough interest. It depends.
It’s easy to tell whether people want to talk about something or not. When people say “I don’t want to talk about it”, but they can’t outrun the conversation and they keep going back to the topic whenever they can … They don’t mean it. It’s not hard to change the topic and ignore whatever you have been talking about before. If you truly want to avoid a certain conversation, you will succeed at that. You won’t bring the topic back when you’ve managed to avoid it.
I personally never use the phrase incorrectly. I don’t like being confused about other people and where do they stand with their emotions … So I try to be as clear as possible. If I want to talk about something, I’ll bring it up. And if I don’t, I definitely won’t talk about it.
The problem with this is that … It hurts when you are willing to talk about something that bothers you or even hurts your feelings, but the person that you are talking to, doesn’t show any interest. And differently – it’s annoying when you are trying to ignore a topic and the person just doesn’t “let” you.
I think that we should respect each other’s space. Some people need privacy in certain situations. The way that I am build, I know that I will talk about things when I am ready. I will open up if I feel the need to do so. I don’t need anybody pushing me to do anything. Actually … The more that you push me into doing something, the less comfortable I will be about you knowing about my things. Does that make sense?
I think that we don’t owe people to give them answers about questions that make us uncomfortable. When a person asks you what’s wrong and you don’t feel like explaining your entire mood to them, I feel like it shouldn’t be wrong to say “I just don’t want to talk about it.”
That doesn’t mean that you are trying to insult the person and say “leave me alone and take care of you own business!” It’s not like that. Not every topic is the kind that has to be talked about.