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The real question is: As an introvert, should I have introvert or extrovert friends?

I find myself asking the question: if you’re an introvert, is it easier for you to be friends with people who are also introverts or with people who are extroverts?

Both kind of people have pros and cons, it’s not all just black or white. So, it’s quite hard to decide which ones are better for you … In the end, those two features probably aren’t the only ones that matter when we make friends, but I still wanted to make some kind of a conclusion to this question.

Thing is, two introverts will have a very hard time staying in touch. It’s hard to meet up when neither of you try to make progress in your friendship, because both feel that they bother the other one. Personally … Being an introvert, I have to say that I never find trouble asking people out to coffee and other events, but I have known a couple of introverts that never did that, just because of the previously mentioned problem … “I feel like I am bothering you.”

On the other hand, introverts understand introverts. They understand when you need space, they understand when you feel awkward while meeting new people … They know how it feels to be shy or “out of space” because you can’t fit into a group of people. They won’t give you a hard time, because they know they would have done or felt the same way.

Extroverts … They won’t understand why do you feel shy, why do you feel like you don’t fit somewhere … Because they aren’t shy and they do fit almost anywhere.

And if you are an introvert and you talk about your emotions, an introvert will say “I know … I’ve been there.” An extrovert? “But why? Just stop feeling that way!”

Well, you can’t. You can’t stop feeling a certain way. I am not always in control of my emotions, sometimes I space out while being with a group of people and it’s not because I would want to make anybody feel uncomfortable. It just happens. I can’t undo it and I certainly can’t explain the emotion of feeling like you don’t fit somewhere to somebody that doesn’t feel the same way.

However … At least an extrovert will try hard to meet you up with new people and they will make easy conversation that you can be a part of. That way, you will feel more comfortable and the spacing out will happen less often. With an introvert … While you two definitely understand each other and give each other a lot of space, neither of you will grow with the communication skills because neither of you know how.

I said I wanted to make a conclusion to this question and truth be told, I don’t know whether I have one … Here’s this, though. If you’re an introvert, talking to an introvert feels energizing, because they definitely understand you and feel more or less the same. However … Spending time with an extrovert at parties and different events will help you grow as a person and expand your communication and forget all about that shyness and space. In the end, you need both kind of people in your life.


2 comments on “The real question is: As an introvert, should I have introvert or extrovert friends?

  1. jculler1972
    May 28, 2017

    I agree, as an introvert you need both. I have found that on work or church projects, it is great to work with someone who is different –you complement one another in getting the job done well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      May 29, 2017

      Exactly! Plus, extroverts can really help introverts with the shyness and so on šŸ˜Š We definitely need both!


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This entry was posted on March 25, 2017 by in psychology and tagged , , , , , , , .
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