While I do not get hurt easily, there’s one way to completely tamper with my emotions and that is by giving me an empty promise. I’ve heard a ton of them! At first, I was always hopeful that those promises would stick. And now, with time … I find myself being doubtful of nearly everything that people promise to me.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the promise is. Even if a person only says “Thank you for sending me this school assignment, I’ll buy you coffee sometimes!” and they totally and completely ignore the “promise”, it hurts. It’s not about the money! It’s also not about the fact that I would be a greedy person and I’d expect favours for every single thing that I do for somebody else. It’s about honoring what you say. If you promise me something, I expect you to live up to that promise. I’d rather have you be quiet and not promise me anything than say something and ignore it. To me, broking a promise is the same way as lying to somebody, and I simply cannot accept such behaviour from anybody.
I always make sure that I do not give empty promises. It happens once or twice that I feel completely cornered and without thinking an answer through, I just blurt it out “Yeah, I promise.” And I don’t mean it … And it bothers me that I don’t mean it, straight after I said it. Because I personally feel like it is my duty to be honest toward people I love. And I also feel like I shouldn’t give them false hope, whatever the promise was.
And … Even though I might not mean it, when I promise you something, I make sure I carry the promise out, even if it’s hard for me for whatever reason. If I say I’ll meet up with you after school and I don’t feel like doing it, because I am tired or something like that … I pull myself together and do it anyway. Because loving somebody means making compromises. If it makes them happy, that’s all that matters to me. Also, I shouldn’t have promised something if I didn’t mean to follow it through, so this is my mistake and I should be the one to embrace the “consequences”.
If you cannot stick through a promise, you should at least let the person know. “Sorry, I cannot take you to coffee this week, because I don’t have any money.” Or … “I know I said we’ll go out today, but I am really stressed out because of school and I don’t feel like doing it.” That’s alright. As long as you’re being truthtful, no real friend will hold it against you. I know I wouldn’t.
Otherwise, people might start doubting everything you say. Just like I doubt people who gave me fake promises, because I am quite sure that’s not the only thing they lied to me about.