Largest Temperature

“Love means trying to understand someone.”

As I was reading this book, I stumbled upon a quote that said “Love means trying to understand someone.” And that left a special feeling inside my soul, as I have never thought about love that way, but I have agreed with the statement instantly. It made absolute sense to me.

Just think about it this way … How many times we stay up late, thinking why did somebody say this or why did somebody do that? Of course, there’s anxiety and overthinking and other factors that drive us toward such activity, but it’s also the fact that we truly care about somebody and we want to understand them. We want to understand what made them make up a decision. We want to understand how do they feel, why do they feel that way. We end up analyzing them.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just cannot succeed at that. It’s especially hard to understand somebody if they aren’t being completely honest and opened. A conversation helps a lot. It moves mountains! But when we feel too proud or too private to actually talk about our feelings, it’s hard for people to understand us if they haven’t been through the same situation/emotion as we have. People simply cannot relate to things that aren’t close to us.

I’ll admit I have trouble staying in touch with people, especially when our schedules don’t “force” us to see each other. And I know that some friends don’t understand that. Some of them don’t understand why I don’t call them every week or why am I craving privacy sometimes. I like going back to people whenever I can and I like being close to them, but I also often feel too tired to be in touch.

At those moments, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my friends. It also doesn’t mean that I am not thinking about them or trying to convince myself that I should try harder. Yet … How can I explain this? Staying in touch isn’t my “priority”. I’m the kind of a person that you run into on a bus after 2 months, but we can still talk and connect as if we have seen each other just the day before. I think that’s what friendships are about … Not necessarily clearing our shedules all the time, not being clingy to each other and expecting to hear from each other every single day … BUT! Being mature. Loving each other when we do have the time. Respecting each other always, no matter how much time has flown by since we have talked to each other.

Friends who disagree with me on this topic cannot understand me and I cannot understand them. No matter how much we love each other, how much we’re trying to understand each other … It’s almost impossible to.

And I’m asking myself … If we cannot understand somebody, can we still love them? Is that just an obstacle that goes away or is it a serious problem in a relationship? I guess it depends on the time, the situation and the person. We have to make up a decision based on all of those factors.

Now I’m going to go back to my book … It’s really interesting, even though I’ve read it before, lol!


7 comments on ““Love means trying to understand someone.”

  1. Psy
    June 15, 2017

    Great post! I’m pretty much the same in friendships and relating with others, you made so many insightful and spot-on points, very enlightening to read.

    I think it’s possible to love someone even without fully understanding them. In that quote you mentioned, it says “trying to understand”, so it kind of entails that there’s a desire and willingness to understand someone, not necessarily that it has to happen all the time. Although, looking at it from another perspective, relationships do seem to fall apart when there are misunderstandings.

    Btw, may I ask which book it’s from? Just curious, later. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      June 17, 2017

      Thank you so much! πŸ™‚

      I completely agree with you, especially with the last part that we fall apart when there are misunderstandings. So it’s another topic that has countless of perspectives, that’s what I love.

      The book is Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami and I strongly suggest it. It gave me another way of looking at life. Bye bye! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. D.J. De Laza
    June 15, 2017

    I’m like that too ! “it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my friends.” Sometimes people just don’t get that part haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      June 17, 2017

      I know right! Some people believe that we express love best by being clingy. And that just isn’t me …

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hussein Allam
    June 17, 2017

    As no one can feel what what you have except you. Agreed with you , your ending of this is so fascinating, yes it is definitely amazing, the book is the friend. This post is full of emotional expressions , keep it up, Tamara!πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on June 15, 2017 by in psychology and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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