As I was reading this book, I stumbled upon a quote that said “Love means trying to understand someone.” And that left a special feeling inside my soul, as I have never thought about love that way, but I have agreed with the statement instantly. It made absolute sense to me.
Just think about it this way … How many times we stay up late, thinking why did somebody say this or why did somebody do that? Of course, there’s anxiety and overthinking and other factors that drive us toward such activity, but it’s also the fact that we truly care about somebody and we want to understand them. We want to understand what made them make up a decision. We want to understand how do they feel, why do they feel that way. We end up analyzing them.
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just cannot succeed at that. It’s especially hard to understand somebody if they aren’t being completely honest and opened. A conversation helps a lot. It moves mountains! But when we feel too proud or too private to actually talk about our feelings, it’s hard for people to understand us if they haven’t been through the same situation/emotion as we have. People simply cannot relate to things that aren’t close to us.
I’ll admit I have trouble staying in touch with people, especially when our schedules don’t “force” us to see each other. And I know that some friends don’t understand that. Some of them don’t understand why I don’t call them every week or why am I craving privacy sometimes. I like going back to people whenever I can and I like being close to them, but I also often feel too tired to be in touch.
At those moments, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love my friends. It also doesn’t mean that I am not thinking about them or trying to convince myself that I should try harder. Yet … How can I explain this? Staying in touch isn’t my “priority”. I’m the kind of a person that you run into on a bus after 2 months, but we can still talk and connect as if we have seen each other just the day before. I think that’s what friendships are about … Not necessarily clearing our shedules all the time, not being clingy to each other and expecting to hear from each other every single day … BUT! Being mature. Loving each other when we do have the time. Respecting each other always, no matter how much time has flown by since we have talked to each other.
Friends who disagree with me on this topic cannot understand me and I cannot understand them. No matter how much we love each other, how much we’re trying to understand each other … It’s almost impossible to.
And I’m asking myself … If we cannot understand somebody, can we still love them? Is that just an obstacle that goes away or is it a serious problem in a relationship? I guess it depends on the time, the situation and the person. We have to make up a decision based on all of those factors.
Now I’m going to go back to my book … It’s really interesting, even though I’ve read it before, lol!