I’ve recently opened up about my way of looking at friendships: how I believe we don’t necessarily have to be in touch every day, 24/7, but I will never look away if I see a friend outside and I’ll try my best to catch up with them and act as if no time has passed by since we have last seen each other.
That’s just how I am and I like that feature so much about me that I search for it in other people, too. It’s easy to have a fallout with childhood friends, because we’re all too busy growing up and changing. Sometimes the stars just do not allign in our favor and it’s too hard to see each other all the time. I personally understand that. I understand that we have other concerns and other things come first. On the other hand, I do not and will never understand the fact that some people prefer to look away when they see you and they completely shut out the fact that you guys used to know everything about each other.
I don’t think people can ever forget about such connections, even if they pretend differently. I sometimes see people I used to be close with and even though I’d love to say hello to them, I do not. Why? Because my pride stops me from doing it. Because I know that they won’t return the smile, they won’t ask about my life and they won’t try to make plans to see me. And that’s alright. I accept that. It still hurts, though. And I am so very sure that no matter how cold they look, they still care and the entire situation hurts them just as much. Maybe they’re cold and ignorant because they’re trying to shield themselves from getting hurt, but I am sure they still care. There’s this quote I adore by Uma Thurman …“I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.” I find certain comfort and truth behind it. No matter how much we change, how much time passed by and how hurtful some memories are, we’ll always have the good memories, too that won’t let us forget about love.
But even though we love each other, we are too stubborn to admit it. And I have no interest in such “connections”, to be entirely honest with you. I have lost too much time for those people. I prefer people who let you know they think of you. It’s beautiful when they run into you after a year or two and they still stop to give you a hug and ask about your life. It’s beautiful when people wish you a happy birthday, even if you haven’t talked in a while. It’s beautiful when they send you a new music video of a band that you are both fans of, even though you haven’t socialized in a while. All those things matter so much. It’s proof that they care. It’s proof that they loved being a part of your life, even if they aren’t right now. And it’s proof that they do not mind being a part of your life again in the future, if you just allow them to.
We cannot talk to everybody every day, but it’s important that we remember we love each other or that we USED to love each other, in the past. It’s important that we cherish whatever connection there is or was between us. Turning the head away from somebody, ignoring them, pretending like you are nothing to each other … That’s immature and … Quite frankly, boring and time consuming.