Largest Temperature

Do I even want to meet new people?

The question whether I want to meet new people or not is almost too stupid to be asked, because even if I don’t want to meet anyone new, ever, I can’t really outrun this. We meet new people at coffee houses, in school, at work, on the street, at concerts (my favorite place, by the way) through our friends (which can be a bit annoying) or all by ourselves (which at least feelsย less annoying) … Either way, it’s normal to lose contact with your old friends and it’s normal to constantly make new connections.

It is. Normal. There’s only one problem, though: all of these new connections are “a bit” time consuming. You go through the standard stages … You both start with being a bit too kind to each other, because – I guess it’s in our nature to try to please and adjust to strangers (which is funny, why do we even care?). Then you get to know each other: your past, your hobbies, personality traits, the interesting things about each other. And then sometimes this new connection starts spiraling down. You realize you don’t actually like each other enough to befriend each other. You find out more about the less likeable traits. You might even realize you are too different from each other to actually get along.

I tend to be dramatic, sure. Sometimes being different is a good thing. Especially if one person is shy and the other one isn’t or if one person is stubborn/lazy/so on and the other one isn’t. The other person can compliment the first one nicely and … To continue my dramatic way of writing … Help them out of the darkness.

But! Sometimes that isn’t the case. Sometimes we befriend somebody that doesn’t get attached to us as much as we have gotten attached to them (or they at least do not show it in the manner that we would have liked). Sometimes you can try too hard and the other person doesn’t try enough. Sometimes you’re way kinder to them than they are to … Not only you, but basically any human being. And so on …

Time consuming!!! After meeting somebody new and spending the time to understand them and know them, you realize they aren’t your cup of tea for whatever reason, so you try to shield yourself from getting hurt and you decide to cut off the newly made connection. And then … Surprise! You’re forced to make another connection with another human being, because we simply weren’t made to be alone. We need people.

So dramatic. I can’t believe I’m only 18 years old, because I honestly feel too tired to meet new people. Does that make sense? I know I can “profit” A LOT, too. I know I might end up meeting some great people who will bring new energy to my life. Yet … Everytime I lose one connection, it seems at least twice as hard to meet somebody new. It feels like anytime that I try to put my heart out in the world, I don’t believe it will end right for me. If you ask me, I am a bit of an a-hole for being so pessimistic. Hey, at least I’m aware of it.

To answer my question. No matter what, at the end of the day … Yes, I do want to meet new people. I do want to get vulnerable and personal with a human being. No matter how badly it might end. No matter how sceptical I am … I’m still not giving up. Whether I like it or not, I WILL meet a lot of people during my life, so I might as well stop being so vulnerable and dramatic about it and, uh … Suck it up! ๐Ÿ˜›

And how about you? Do you want to meet new people?


6 comments on “Do I even want to meet new people?

  1. catpucino
    July 3, 2017

    I like meeting new people, but I almost always could not handle getting to know them or even getting myself known to them. I guess, being introverted moulds me into that. Although I do try to mingle with a new crowd once in a blue moon, just to expand my social circle, however it’s quite difficult on my part.

    You’re going to meet more & more new people, considering you’re 18. A whole bunch of an interesting crowd, I’d say ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      July 4, 2017

      I feel the same way … It’s always difficult for me. But yeah, who knows what happens in the future! Thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ˜Š


  2. snickers
    July 3, 2017

    love what you talk about in your posts, by the way. i’m 18 too! looking back at my life right now i went from supposedly really outgoing and sunny as a small kid, to being a kind of awkward pre-teen, and then really awkward and introverted and a bit sad early teen, to where I am now, getting more acquainted and comfortable with both my introverted and (oddly) extroverted sides. yet even now I realise I make lasting friendships super slowly, and all my closest friends are people who I knew for at least a year before becoming really tight. so i totally get you about that time-consuming aspect, because a huge part of why I make lasting friends at the rate of a net increase of 1.5 per year – is because I’m fixated on this idea now that I have to spend a lot of time knowing someone before really /knowing/, liking and committing to them as a friend. and ironically at the same time I want to meet new and fascinating people…’make up your mind already’ i know, i know. I just keep thinking that more often than not the ‘new’ people I befriend have a high probability of not really clicking well enough with me, and then that puts me off making new friends, which then means I also lose the chance to potentially make a really awesome new friend because I’m too tired/lazy/dramatic. as you can see… still figuring it out here

    Liked by 1 person

    • largesttamara
      July 4, 2017

      Thank you so much for sharing! It’s crazy, but I feel exactly the same way and I’ve went through the same things, too (looking at the “evolution” and my way of thinking). I’m quite bad at the figuring out part, can’t lie … Probably because I’m indeed overly dramatic and a big overthinker.


      • snickers
        July 4, 2017

        Totally get you re: that last line. Alsooooo, this sounds weird but, thanks for the follow (!!) but I made a mistake and didn’t update my primary blog site to my newer one. the aquarium blog is kind of the really embarrassingly indulgent and whiny oldER blog which I don’t know what to do with now… I’m starting out again on where I sound slightly more restrained/coherent. usually hate selfpromos of any sort but i realized i kind of fricked up the primary blog settings , & i also kind of would like (love!!) to share w you things on that new blog from time to time, hear what u think ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • largesttamara
        July 4, 2017

        Not a problem, I’d love to follow you and I’m glad you’ve pointed this out! ๐Ÿ˜Š


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This entry was posted on July 1, 2017 by in psychology and tagged , , , .
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