I’m strongly convinced that one of the ugliest habits that women as a majority posess is the constant need for competition. If you’re a woman and you’re nothing like that, congratulations and please teach us your ways, but we can both agree that every rule has its exception, which doesn’t mean that my statement isn’t true.
One way to open this topic is to adress the trendy “joke” that has been going around quite a while, which is the famous “me vs your ex girlfriend” post. I have a very advanced humor and I wouldn’t say I get offended easily, even if I do find the post somewhat offending, I mostly choose to ignore it. However, as a feminist, I do dislike that joke. It contradicts with everything that women should be standing up for. It contradicts with equality, respect, love … To sum it up: it contradicts with feminism.
That’s all just because women feel the need to compete. Women have the need to be prettier, smarter, funnier, more popular than “that other woman”. Why? After all of these years we still don’t have completely equal rights to men (looking at different sallaries in same jobs etc.) and instead of standing up together (with men, too) for the same cause (aka feminism), we are competing with each other. Crazy.
Confidence plays a very important role in competition, in my opinion, either the lack or the abundance of it. If you lack confidence, it means you are comparing yourself to other women (and therefore “competing” with them) because you don’t feel “good enough”. That happens to me every now and then. I wish I was skinnier, taller, a better high-heels walker, a better make-up artist, a better student … ESPECIALLY when I see women who are all of that. That means I degrade myself, but not because I enjoy doing that – but because I don’t know how not to. But! Whenever I do that, I try to remind myself that I am a work in progress and loving yourself for who you are is a lot more important than trying to be what you aren’t. And I also try to remember that all of those women might struggle with the lack of confidence just as I do, or maybe they wish to be more of something that they aren’t. I don’t know what is going on in their mind, but I do know that nobody is perfect. Having said that, I cannot and should not compare myself and wish to be “more like her/them”.
On the other hand, the abundance of confidence is tricky, too. That feature can otherwise be described as arrogance. When you are overly confident (and therefore arrogant) you believe that you’re the best in everything, you are perfect and everybody else is flawed. I cringe whenever I see arrogant people, because I prefer to stay humble. No, I don’t like the fact that I struggle with being confident, but at least I know I’m embracing my faults every single day and I’m trying to love them. A person who does not recognize or accept their faults is to me an ignorant person that is shielding themselves from the reality.
All in all … I’m ready for the era of equality and respect instead of an era of competing. We’re not each other’s competition, we have to realize that. Whether you’re “competing” because of the lack or the abundance of confidence, you have to remember: your own beauty/intelligence won’t rise if you’ll praise a woman, just because she isn’t you and it also won’t rise if you put another woman down. Love yourself and love your mothers, sisters, daughters. Love women. We are struggling enough as it is.