“Does being kind and good pay off?” That’s the question that I constantly ask myself when I’m caught up in situations that I could have avoided if I were the opposite of the person that I am (or at least I feel that way).
Before answering that question … I want to talk about certain things. I want to talk about how we cannot give “our all” to certain people, because we’re all taught as human beings to get used to a pattern of a behavior. When somebody constantly makes compromises in our sake, we are suddenly shocked when they decide to act differently (if they ever do). We suddenly subconsciously expect them to act the way we want them to act, to say the things that we like to hear … Simply because we like the feeling of them trying to please us. But! We forget that they are their own person and they weren’t made to do that. Nobody should trample themselves for the sake of being liked by somebody else. And besides … People should like us for who we are. It’s fullfiling to have a relationship with a human being where neither of you has the wish to control the other person or make you into something that you are not.
I get upset when certain people who aren’t even my friends only think of me when they need a favor. And God forbid that I decline that favor! Because they’re used to me being kind, going all the way for something that they need. And if I take a stand for myself and say “Listen … I’ve had enough” … That often results in people insulting me and saying that I am selfish/rude. Which is quite frankly crazy.
And it’s the reason that I have asked myself … Does being good and kind pay off, ever? Can I be a person who helps other people, but has their respect? People who insult you when you only decline their request once do not respect you, that’s clear. They love to take advantage of you. So … How can I do both? How can I be kind and respected at the same time?
That’s something that only people who are intelligent, humble, kind and a mixture of both selfish and unselfish – can give to me. Because they will understand me. They will be able to say “OK, that’s fine” when I’ll say “no.” People who will step on me, make me smaller and humiliate me when I say “no” do not respect or love me. And I do not need such people in my life. Nobody does.
When you surround yourself with the good kinf of people, you reach the point when being kind pays off. And being kind and good pays off in many other ways: when you meet your old teacher on the street and (s)he offers you a job. When your dad states how proud he is of you in front of his friends. When a person you are no longer in touch with talks about you to somebody else and says “We’re no longer in touch, but I have nothing bad to say about her.”
The examples can go on and on …
Yes, some people will try to take advantage of your kind heart, but you have to surround yourself with people who actually respect you – then you’ll realize that your good attitude pays off. Do what your heart tells you. Be true to yourself. Do not destroy yourself by being mean and rude just because you sometimes feel like some people do not deserve your kindness. Kindness pays off.