I think it’s extremely important to have somebody in your life that is always there for you and is willing to listen and talk about everything. The point of that isn’t to share gossip and stir up drama, it’s about being opened. It takes real guts to talk about certain thoughts or feelings that might be stoking up inside of you. That’s exactly the reason why I think that being close to another human being doesn’t mean you’re weak – I think it’s the opposite and it shows strength.
In a way, that person is your own psyhologist, only that the relationship isn’t one-sided (therefore you “gain” more from it, because not only do you confide in a person, but they also confide in you, which is really pleasing) and you also get to keep your money! Lol.
I’m very proud to admit that I always feel like I grow on discussions. Sometimes, it can be hard to open up and I take more time than usually, but in the end, I do not regret it. Whenever we feel low, we also feel like our negative emotions are something to be ashamed about and also like they’re rare emotions that only happen to us and any other human being is utterly and completely happy. Excuse my wording, but that’s bullshit. No matter how grateful and happy you are (take it from somebody who truly does enjoy life), you can still feel down from time to time. It’s important to understand that that’s normal. By discussions, we regain that feeling of normality.
Anyway … While I do trust my friends, I am also quite bad with confrontation. I don’t know why, I used to confront people about all kinds of things when I was younger, which in the end made people think I’m rude, angry and with no boundaries what so ever. Skip it a few years later, I am now afraid of having such conversations with people, because I feel like they will feel exactly the same way that those people once felt or claimed to feel. I talked about this in a post once before.
However … I’ve gained another perspective of what I have written in that post, therefore I felt like I have to expand it. After having a conversation with my mother (if you follow this blog for a while, you know that my life always comes to some kind of enlightenment whenever I discuss something with her LOL) I now understand that I do not have to discuss every problem that appears in a friendship and every wrong word that a friend said that hurt me – may it be on purpose or by accident. She always says:”You know this person has some bad characteristics, but there’s a ton of other things that prevail over that and that you like about them. Those are the things that matter. Therefore, you should stop being so resentful and be grateful for the good things.” Then, I simply stop being angry and I tell myself I am good at being mature and kind-hearted. I am simply too sensitive sometimes. That doesn’t mean that my feelings don’t matter, of course not, it just means that I shouldn’t look into every single thing that happens.
We have to pick our battles. Some people are worth it and others aren’t. But this is a fact: no person is perfect. We do not live in a novel or a TV show where everything is worded out perfectly. Hell … Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. Sometimes we say such things. Sometimes we fight with them and we do not understand each other. It’s all just a part of a relationship. You do not have to feel like your friend is your opponent and you have to “win” arguments and “schedule” confrontations or what so ever. Being in a constant fight is simply tiring.
I know I’ve discussed confrontation before and probably some other topics too, but I think you guys understand that my mind isn’t a book. It isn’t filled up with chapters that are one different from another. I write for the moment and about the feelings that happen in the moment.
Right. After writing 700 words, it’s time for me to shut the hell up. Peace out!