A piece of my mind and a post about being either too careful or not careful enough.

I am noticing that being all spontaneous is alright, but not all the time. Sometimes we need to plan things out, have our life in control and be anything but spontaneous.

Planning too much isn’t the right way of living either, though. That’s why we have to take a right limit of both ways of living. You can’t either be careless or too careful all your life.

I am normally a person who has to control everything. When I was younger I used to plan my whole life. I knew where I was going to go to high school, I knew what my party for my 18^th birthday will be and I planned everything I was going to do at that age. I planned my high school, my college and my adult life. And then suddenly I grew up. I changed. I lived to see that you cannot always plan everything. Maybe I am going to experience some things sooner or other things later.  Maybe I am going to graduate at time, maybe not. Hell, maybe I am going to die 5 years from now or maybe I am going to live a full life till the age of 100. Nobody knows and that is why planning is overrated and nearly impossible.

When my first plan (as to what high school I am going to go to) changed, I knew everything could be changing. And now, when people ask me – where do you see yourself in 10 years? I say … Wherever. Maybe in Slovenia, maybe in Croatia, maybe in USA. Only God knows. And I am not going to get in the way of that.

If somebody asked me what I would be doing 10 years from now at the age of 12, I would tell them the whole story with specific details.

So, all in all, I’ve became more spontaneous. But I’ve said at the beginning that nor being careless or being too careful are right.

Often I let my guard down as well. Often I say things I normally wouldn’t say, do things I normally wouldn’t do. Sometimes I end up sitting in my room and listening to music when I should be either studying or at least trying to do something connected to school. If I planned my inner activities more, I would probably have better grades and a better attitude at the end of the deal.

But … Here in school we’ve been taught about the period of time called Romance. Writers used to dream big, they used to think of themselves as victims in a cruel world and they described people only as black and white. Often, I feel like a Romantic person, because I think I am black and white. I either commit to something too much or not enough. I either plan my whole life out or do not bother to plan even a second. I don’t know which one is worse – being a totally spontaneous person that just lives in a moment or being a person that desperately tries to have her life together.

At the moment I might not be either of those people. I cannot plan my life and I cannot stop thinking about the coincidences I or anyone that thinks romantically might deal with.
But either way my advice to all of you is: worrying is alright as long as that is in a normal dose.